A Tortured Life

This heavy weight title immerses one into a wide range of imaginations and experiences. An unendurable pain, that one waits to be freed for a long time.


Is the experience of torture counted based on the amount of time one goes through it?
A torture can vary from few minutes to a lifelong depending on the experiences.
Why being tortured is the worst thing that can happen to anyone?
Once the person is free from torture, can they live a better life again?
How is the post – torture life?
In what manner , the two words : Torture and Trauma are inter-related?
Any kind of tortured life occurs between two persons or between a person and a surrounding environment. Most of the times, it is observable that the person who tortures someone is enjoying the moment of seeing that person in a trouble. Torture is a form of abuse. On another hand, some people without moral ethics or the ones without good mentality tend to torture others unknowingly.  The chances of a victim escaping are less from the people who do not accept their heart-breaking actions. Apart from these contexts, there is another set of people who can easily feel tortured by anyone. Sensitive people can misunderstand other’s actions without logic. It is possible for them to feel tortured in their life for the things that may not even run in other people’s mind.


A trauma affects the people after particular events. Whereas a torture can be one time or a recurring action experienced by the victim. Depending on the level of tortures and its effects on the person, the life changes. Some people may begin to love a new life after taking certain treatments. One may move to another place and restart life. It is not possible for many people to live a life normally again. A consistent tortured life affects the person mentally and physically. Even a stronger person can slowly change into a weak person. Over a period of time, it won’t be possible for the brain to have a control over emotions despite of having a stronger personality.

The common symptoms that a victim goes through are:
(Note : The symptoms may vary depending on the person)

1]Heart- beat pounds

2] Headaches

3] Unreasonable anxiety

4] Unreasonable fear

5] Triggers to phobias

6] Slight sound hallucinations

7] 24/7 Alert mind

8] Depression

9] Hormonal Imbalance

10] PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

11] Often Stressed

12] Nightmares

13] Sleep disturbances

14] A reduced memory grasping

15] Social withdrawal

16] Unstable Blood Pressure


The victim will lose an interacting skill. Few lose their confidence to speak with others. Some feel numb. While some victims lose interest to interact with anyone. They feel hopeless and hence, may fail to enjoy the good times.  This makes them avoid social mingling. Sometimes, the person may like to meet others. But, during the meetings, anxiety can have the chances of turning in.

After moving to another place away from the tortures, the life cannot be all easy. It takes time to adjust to the new beginnings. The person feels depressed and anxious. The emotions will have confusions. Even if the place is a favorite and free from troubles, the past moments flashes in the mind. A victim can often hear the same sounds of the tormentors, especially ,if the tormentor is /are family member/s. Sometimes the tormentors are extremely dependent on the victim. Because of a prolonged dependency, even if the victim looks out for an independent life, in post traumatic period, the life seems to be unbalanced.  Loneliness is the only best friend. The victim feels isolated in daily life. The things that made one happier before will no longer feel the same. Although at times, it is possible for the victim to be immensely happy for the little things.

Hearing any loud sound can make the heart pound. Since, the subconscious mind has stored enough of unpleasant memories, the person will have sleeping disorders. It is a sign of alert mind 24/7 .  A psychological stress affects the health in a severe way. An exhausting mind stress develops hormonal imbalance and gut dysfunctions. This leads to a multiple chronic physical illness. Even if the person has the capability to live an independent life, a psychological effects develops unreasonable fears in the person’s mind. The subconscious absorbs  the past events and shows the effects on emotions and physical health often. For this reason, an unpredictable sick times usually go un-diagnosed.

Medications can help the victim to stable the pressure levels, control the heart beats, reduce the anxiety, balance the hormones and thereby help with the physical sickness.

How can one help such victims?

  • Help to live separately from the tormentor.
  • Do not turn an blind eye to their sufferings.
  • LCH= Listen to their struggles, show Care but not sympathy  and Help them to live a better life


As a victim, how can you help yourself?

  • Change your life routine.
  • Try to learn something new.
  • Keep yourself busy but don’t get stressed.
  • Find and follow/apply  the methods to de-stress regularly.
  • No matter how low you feel, never miss a proper diet.
  • Ask for help, you may receive help from some corner
  • In severe cases, take medicines for mental health prescribed only by psychiatrist.

Believe yourself that the change is possible. Consider the past life as a different life chapter. Even though the past leaves effects in the present. Change is the only persistent . The more you think about changing your life and work towards it, things will eventually get better for you.

Read More:
How To Help Someone With Anxiety And Panic Attacks?

What does anxiety and panic attack feels like?








Find a reason to live


“Find a reason to live.
When you don’t have any reason to live,
don’t use the same reason for death.”

Depressions, trauma events, unfortunate life, and a life with no purpose are the reason that force people to choose suicide or hurt themselves in some way. When you are at your wit’s end , just take a break for a while.

We need to accept the fact that life will never stop teaching us a lesson. It is always a process of learning the life itself or any specific subject. I won’t deny the truth that sometimes life bites us so hardly that no positive quotes or vibes work out. I am not going to write in this post, what are the things you can do to overcome depression. I  have already written about this in other articles on the same site. I can completely understand going through suicidal thoughts is not easy. It does not mean you are a weak person. All I want to say is “You have my empathy.”  By being the part of the life’s rich pageant, you are already a winner.

Remember, you guys are strong and maybe most of you hold the life journeys that no one knows about. No one can walk on your path as bravely as you did. I know there is this void feeling and no room for happiness. Many of you may chase for happiness but may not find it easily. If we could come so far with our super powers then let’s not end it in a bitter way.

Let’s endure the challenging paths for us.

I have helped many people going through suicidal thought and attempt , which has made me write this short post.

May Month Interaction Time
Victim Support Guide

Inspirational Birds

Live life like birds!!!

Live Life like birds

Birds are a natural delight to watch. I can spend immense time watching their awe of natural grace. I believe birds are really the magnificent creature.

Sing like birds!

Sing like a bird!

Waking up to the early chirping sound brings the smile on my face, thereby motivating me to begin a peaceful morning. Who needs an alarm clock, when you are surrounded by singing birds?

Dance like birds!

Dance like a bird

When the sun sets at the dawn, we can see flocks of birds flying back to their homes. As the evening gets ready for the slow and steady sunset, the sky becomes the stage for the birds. They fly in the same direction by taking different forms which ultimately add beauty to the sky. It feels as if all of them are trained by a great choreographer. The chirping cheerful birds play together in the green trees while nibbling their food. It is fascinating to see the leafless trees are camouflaged by the tiny green birds. The view when they all fly at once, dance around and sit back is stunning.

Incredible Talent

Incredible Talent

These amazing creatures have the default interior designer cum engineer talent. The varied engineered kind of nests with all the materials bought from hidden sources astonishes us with their creativity. It is not doddle to shape the long sticks into a circular format. If you ever get a chance then observe how much effort these birds take to build their “Home Sweet Home”. I love weaver birds work, as the name implies they create woven nests.

Never give up !

Never Give Up

Although there is no guarantee for their nest’s safety. Due to natural calamities or even heavy winds, the nests get destroyed. Most of the times, humans are responsible for demolishing birdies home. If you could observe what these birds do when their nests are damaged, you will be inspired enough to see their will power. They don’t change the place immediately or stop rebuilding it. These birds continue to create nests in the same place ,no matter how many times it has been destroyed. They got this:”I don’t care what others do . I will never give up.” attitude.

Parenting a bliss!

Parenting is a bliss

 It is indeed a remarkable movement to watch parent birds teach their tiny child to walk and fly. These poor birds cannot hold their child to protect them from flying to unsafe zones. I have noticed how uncontrollable a child was and its parents had to chase a lot. Also, as the human baby’s every moment is cherished, in the same way, it is an applause moment for baby bird’s first flight. When the child begins learning to fly,  its excitement makes parents more difficult to stop it from exploring the unexplored surrounding.

There is always a solution to the problem.

 There is always a solution to the problem.

Birds have the ability to migrate to different places during circumstances such as, scarcity of food & water. We humans need to learn from birds how to come out of vulnerabilities and make changes when things are not working in the way it should be. Teamwork is one of the most quality of life to be learned from these flocks of birds.

Birds soar high in the air and look for prey because they can get the right view from a far point. In a similar way, sometimes we got to step back and have a different perception to the situations to get the right conclusion.

Free Rent For Birds

Balconies and windows are made for birds. They can visit anytime, stay free of cost and leave whenever they want. We may get annoyed with pigeons shit everywhere and their unwanted nests. Probably, the only thing we can learn from this is, be wanderlust ! Go anywhere, stay temporarily and leave whenever you want.

Shit like birds!

Shit Happens

Unknowingly birds shit on humans. But, knowingly shit on cars 😛  We can take this statement in two ways. Firstly, we see people who poke their nose in other’s business. Those are the people who shit like birds. Secondly, don’t think  what others say about you. Ignore them and do what you want! Shit on them and move on 😉

Freedom is the best thing.

Freedom is the best thing.

Honestly, just live life like a bird. Fly wherever you want and set yourself free from the cage. Take a leap of faith and cherish the adventurous journey. 🙂



What made me write this post?

My friend said, “All the time, I had  been looking for an ideal and today I feel birds are my inspiration to live life in the most beautiful way.” This line itself made me write a blog about inspirational birds through my observation and experiences.

Thought for the life

If we can learn so much through birds, then definitely in return we can do a small favor for them by keeping a bowl of food & another bowl of water every day.



Second Marriage

When you read the title, what first thought comes to your mind or which couple crosses your mind?

                  We keep saying the world is changing. Yes, it is changing. In some countries, one can do 3-4 marriages and may not face any complications from outside. Whereas there are countries, to be precise, cultures wherein you have to think twice before getting into the second marriage plan.
                  The reasons for a second marriage do vary. Some people would like to marry to have a father/mother for their previous marriage kids. Some may marry because of their previous marriage break up or no more existence of partner. Some may do it just for the sake of any financial benefits or any third reasons.
                    Even today, I see some orthodox people are against second marriage. People in society look at the second married couple in a different way. As if they have done something wrong, something ugly. The couple may be good human beings but still, they have to face the bad perception towards them by society.  I personally know a couple who are unhappily married for 30 years + and their marriage life affected their children in a worse manner. But, they don’t take divorce and they hate the people who do second marriage too.
                      Getting into a second marriage plan itself is a bit complicated when one needs to fight with the social norms.  An individual coming across a divorced person may think a lot before getting into a relationship. It’s always good to have a background check and take a decision before the marriage. But some innocents live with the tag of “divorcee” and happen to get rejected for the second marriage for the same reason. Many a time, even if two people agree to marry, they face complication due to the obstacles brought up by their families and relatives.



                     I think we need to look at marriage same like living relationships wherein we don’t fuss more after the break up as much as we do about the marriages. The gossipers need to calm down when someone is planning for another marriage and also show empathy towards the divorcee. They are just normal people who have faced relationship issues.
                     Sometimes relationship may or may not work out. Moreover, it takes time to find the right partner. Anyone willing to be in a relationship deserves a chance to find the right partner. Of course, that should not mean dumping the previous partner in a cruel way and move on with a random person. Again these things should not happen illegally. Any marriage, be it first or second, all it requires is a real love.

Get Married-solution for everything !
What arrange marriage is holding for you in the Box ???



                    What if one day I get up and find out that there is nothing to do at all. It would be a day wherein I could feel happy and say, ”Yeah! Nothing to do. I am free today.”
It’s a day-I happen to realize that there is nothing else remaining for me to do. Everything has ended. I have gained love, Success, and people. I have tried too many things. I could look back at my past and feel the present only to know that my life was all messy but everything has concluded to a better destination. All the bad days would only remain as the blurred memory and the positive rays would surround me from all the corners. I would turn into a peaceful person. Maybe I would not hold any hatred feelings for anyone. I would have reached that level of my life, wherein I would be happy with everyone around me. The world would seem to be filled with beautiful minds. There won’t be any place for regret, sufferings, blames in my mind. I could have blamed everyone around me, by now I chose not to blame anyone. There won’t be any compromise in further life. No more troubles coming closer in any form.



I wish I would wake up one day and realize my whole life had been a dream and I am actually a different person living a different life. Perhaps a much better life wherein I could be me, myself!!!


As we go through the hustle and bustles of our life, we don’t have to wait for the right time of nirvana feeling. Each day we can try to take little steps by avoiding the stings of negativity and proceeding with the ingredients of positivity.



Whatever Happens to you, defines you??
The Dark Tunnel

Like-Minded Success

Photo @rawpexel Edit Shubh

I had been always looking for someone with a like-minded person. Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven’t met anyone yet who would be of a type when I will say, “This is it”. 

One thing I learned, we can be different from our circle. Most of the time, we look for someone from the surrounding circle. But, the real need lies in the other corner of the world. We have to search in the right direction for what we need. It’s only then, we find what we want. It’s the right place for us to showcase our skills wherein it will receive the real value. It will help us improve ourselves, or say sharpen our skills.

We may expect own people to be there for us in some or other way. Very few are able to get their expected support in the way they want. Don’t be forlorn. Take a break and think again. Yes, we reach the stages that leave us high and dry. Even though you feel it is the end from all squares, then draw some other shape to your life. 

It is only possible to achieve something in a group when equal efforts are invested. It should not be only the leader’s dream. It can’t be just someone’s dream. It’s a dream which does not let anyone sleep. It pushes you hard to work, work and work. There are wide bursting ideas around your mind. You can’t think of something else other than the thing you want to make it happen. You struggle and just take every risk that brings you closer to the goal you see.

Once you embark, you can’t think of dropping it off in any circumstances. You hone different skills and polish it until it holds the pure originality that no one else can ever re-create it.

There are hurdles which make you doubt your decisions to proceed, but not all days can be good. We have to take in the bad days and keep going on our journey. When we set a goal, we can’t just sit and watch something to happen. We can’t just do very little work and believe it will happen. It’s a responsibility, rather a common sense to get down to the nitty-gritty of the present plans and future expected achievements. You should know that you need to be always prepared to take up the helm.

There comes a time, you feel like, ‘ Okay, everything is hunky-dory.’, but you don’t know what’s gonna happen next! Probably, you land up in an unexpected mess. Going through such a hotchpotch event gives you the experience and that’s how you make peace with yourself and the work you do. No matter what goes wrong or right, you will have the confidence that you will make it through with the right proficiency. Yes, you will!




The manifesting moment, when you take a circular leap or just one flip leap into the deep sea, you will love drowning into the art of your favorite work and swimming through every lap to reach a phenomenal destined island. That’s how you will know, you have created your own successful world.

To wrap up my thoughts, I have jotted down below some of the internet searched quotes/images and some written by me. All the best for your journey 🙂



What type of mindsets prevents happiness and success?
Who won’t succeed in life?


Get Married-solution for everything !


Marriage itself is a word that always freaks me out. I don’t know why I really never believed in the concept of “Marriage“.

I don't want to get married.

My opinion about marriage is, it is a proof for the society that the couple is married or booked. If two people are in love and wanna spend their life together for the rest of their life then here comes the Marriage Certification. Even people having a living relationship find this Certification useful at some or other point. No matter what religion, caste, race you belong to, which place in the world you live in, some or other day you will find yourself taking oath/vows in the wedding aisle.

wed vows at aisle

Once you reach in your 20s, you ought to find a partner or else by hook or crook someone will find a partner for you. You won’t be left with much of a choice, to marry someone.


Of course,  there are folks who live single for the whole life. But do they live this life without fighting with their own family and society? Almost all the single ones had to go through the repetitive questions and comments on them.

We cannot say it’s the old generation mind. Because we have a young generation who does the same thing. I reached in my 20s(Update: Oops no more in 20s!)  and almost all my friends started getting married and within a few years, almost all of them were blessed with kids too.

cats meme
relatives meme

I don’t care what others think about me for sure, but I think the whole society is worried about me a lot. In today’s techie & independent world, it’s mandatory to have a job.
The bio-data in matrimony must show your resume which will impress the guy/girl and you will have chances to be selected for the proposal. Bingo!!!
I am post graduated qualified with additional skills and due to certain family reasons, my career life did not go well. Unfortunately, I am not working the regular 9 to 5 job. It turns out to be a negative point for the whole society. They don’t pay my bills or take care of me but a big question: Who will marry me?

Every guest that comes to my house or my relatives advise the same thing to me and my parents,” At this age, no job then get married!!”
Some of them asked me to move the USA for further studies and if I don’t move by myself then, at least, marry the guy working in the USA . To add on, single ones in the age 20s had to always come across aunties giving mantras, “Get married soon, have kids soon. The sooner the better. If you marry late then you will have problems having kids then there is no meaning for marriage. ” *sob sob*

meme on advices

A huge LOL!!!
This is my everyday life to avoid such old generation mind and facing society whether it is on the streets or in some family functions or someone else’s wedding, “When is your wedding?”

I kill everyone in my mind but I have to tell them: ‘ very soon maybe this year or next year.’

gift for wedding


Do I enjoy with people of my age around me completely? At least there I have got some air to breathe on…Nahhhh!!
Considering half of my friends are married, it is difficult to hang out with them. When they hit me,” Why are you not married yet!!”
And do the other half unmarried people allow me to enjoy?
Nah Nooo
Well, I have to say I am not dating anyone and I don’t have a boyfriend.

drama meme

So, here are these people who will keep on asking me why are you not even dating someone? If you can’t find any boy, then opt for arrange marriage.

arranged marriage meme waiing for you


Yeah seriously, Facepalm!!

Well, I did meet a bunch of people who even assumed about me as a lesbian. What? ah hun O.o

gender stigma meme

Well, what can I say ..*No words*
I am straight and it is okay if I don’t have a job and my health & career life does not go well. I don’t even understand even in this modern world, why people assume gender as a lesbian and ask it like a stigma.
I believe it is not mandatory to find some partner to fix my life problems.
Thanks to 2-3 of my married friends, who always sob,” You are lucky to be single. Never marry anyone.”

second thoughts meme

Why should one marry someone just for the sake of society, when not even ready for it? Of course,  having a bf/husband is not always a problem. When you are not ready for a relationship, don’t go for it. By the way,  even when you are ready to be in a relationship, don’t just settle for a random partner.

being single is best

I don’t know whether I will ever get married to someone or fall in love with someone but for now; I love myself and enjoy with my friends(Update: no more friends around). I am single & definitely fine with this status. To the people out there, I don’t have to jot down the benefits of being single. You know how it is & moreover will find plenty of blogs out there showing ” Being single is the best thing ” 😛 😛

Being Single, Cheers!!!

being single cheers

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