Second Marriage

When you read the title, what first thought comes to your mind or which couple crosses your mind?

                  We keep saying the world is changing. Yes, it is changing. In some countries, one can do 3-4 marriages and may not face any complications from outside. Whereas there are countries, to be precise, cultures wherein you have to think twice before getting into the second marriage plan.
                  The reasons for a second marriage do vary. Some people would like to marry to have a father/mother for their previous marriage kids. Some may marry because of their previous marriage break up or no more existence of partner. Some may do it just for the sake of any financial benefits or any third reasons.
                    Even today, I see some orthodox people are against second marriage. People in society look at the second married couple in a different way. As if they have done something wrong, something ugly. The couple may be good human beings but still, they have to face the bad perception towards them by society.  I personally know a couple who are unhappily married for 30 years + and their marriage life affected their children in a worse manner. But, they don’t take divorce and they hate the people who do second marriage too.
                      Getting into a second marriage plan itself is a bit complicated when one needs to fight with the social norms.  An individual coming across a divorced person may think a lot before getting into a relationship. It’s always good to have a background check and take a decision before the marriage. But some innocents live with the tag of “divorcee” and happen to get rejected for the second marriage for the same reason. Many a time, even if two people agree to marry, they face complication due to the obstacles brought up by their families and relatives.

 

 

                     I think we need to look at marriage same like living relationships wherein we don’t fuss more after the break up as much as we do about the marriages. The gossipers need to calm down when someone is planning for another marriage and also show empathy towards the divorcee. They are just normal people who have faced relationship issues.
                     Sometimes relationship may or may not work out. Moreover, it takes time to find the right partner. Anyone willing to be in a relationship deserves a chance to find the right partner. Of course, that should not mean dumping the previous partner in a cruel way and move on with a random person. Again these things should not happen illegally. Any marriage, be it first or second, all it requires is a real love.

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45 comments

  1. blancanvalbuena says:

    I’m not even on my first marriage, but I have been with the same person for 15 years. I have friends that have been married, divorced, remarried and divorced. I’m a bit unconventional and I am from the US where standards are a bit more lax than in other cultures, since I believe that marriage is merely a cultural institution and because there is divorce and people cheat it is kinda meaningless. For me, there are other ways to show true commitment such as respect, honesty, and loyalty. That being said, I love a great wedding.

  2. I never even got to the first of a wedding, but I like reading your introspection and your emotion

    1. The first thing I thought about when I first read the title is second chances and divorce. Thanks for writing this post. I think it’s worth it to live your best life because nobody is perfect. I love reading about others thoughts and experiences because that’s how we learn.

  3. Things happen. People change and sometimes you marry someone who you thought you knew but you didn’t actually know them. I am on my first marriage and things are still amazing between us but I know of others who aren’t as lucky. I don’t think there should be any stigma with divorces or multiple marriages however I do feel that people shouldn’t jump into a marriage quickly. It took us over 5 years before we said I do but there are many out there who marry within a month of dating which typically ends in divorce (minus the few rarities).

  4. Michael David Oyco says:

    Felt the love in your writing. Love is always there and once you need to move on, you must not dump it like its nothing..

  5. I’m on my first marriage but I have friends who are on their second and they get funny looks sometimes. There is still a stigma around getting remarried.

  6. You couldn’t be more right. It takes time and sometimes we make mistakes. It took me a long while to find my one. And I honestly wasn’t even really looking and thought I would never ever find anyone or get married – but now, we even have a child together!!

  7. Weddings are so beautiful. But in this day and age they mean so much less (in the USA at least) that it is sickening.

  8. I have a friend who got married when he was 25. His wife had just turned 21. She became restless because she wanted to have a baby and quit their job right away, but the friend wanted to wait another year for them to be financially stable. She was kind of a daddy’s girl and used to always getting what she wanted so she didn’t like that answer and left him, serving him divorce papers. He didn’t have much choice in the matter because she refused to speak with him. So he’s divorced at 26 years old.

    The church that he goes to discourages divorce and remarriage so for a very long time, he was miserable. His hair started turning white. He had no intentions of ever going out and meeting anyone ever again. He was condemned to living the rest of his life alone.

    I don’t agree with that. It was not his choice for the divorce and for the longest time, he continued to love her even when she started a relationship with someone she worked with before the divorce was finalized. We haven’t seen him in almost two years. He’s moved to another city and started his new life. I have no idea how he’s doing or if he’s dating, but I hope that he does get a chance at a second marriage, especially since the first one didn’t even last a year. It doesn’t seem fair to condemn a person for that.

    Sorry for the long comment

    1. No need to apologize. I have few divorce friends but some of them are looking for second marriage ,the only issue is they r unable to find the guy. I feel sorry for your friend, he seems to be nice guy but his life got miserable by the person he loved. Wherever he is hope he is doing good and hope he gets in touch with you too 😊

  9. Patricia-Ann Que says:

    I think nobody’s perfect and everyone deserves a second chance including marriage! this relationship is so personal I think no one should judge anyone for being re-married!

  10. I’m definitely not one to judge. If if makes you happy and you’re not hurting others then go for it. It’s just not for me. Thank you for sharing this perspective 🙂

  11. I don’t see a second marriage as a bad thing. Sometimes first marriages don’t work out for various reasons. I would hope that you would learn from your mistakes and not take that into the second marriage.

    1. briebrieblooms says:

      I really think our views on marriage are highly impacted by the values we learned in our own homes. But with that being said, my husband’s parents have had multiple spouses and he does not hold the same view. Growing up as an only child in the middle of his parents separating has helped shape his views on marriage and the commitment you’re making to more than just that other person.

  12. 2nd marriage here. I tried so hard to make my first marriage work, but he was a cheater and a liar. I think it’s awful when people try to say that you should stay married to someone through thick and thin – sometimes it doesn’t work like that. If they person is abusive or cruel you should NOT stay. We all make mistakes and the stigma on second marriages is kind of awful.

  13. I think it’s important for every person to find their true love. If the first marriage doesn’t work out, I think it’s only fair that each individual be allowed to search for love again. We were put on this planet to love others. Thanks so much for sharing!

  14. You are so right on the head with this. It takes a lot of mind and body to make things work, but not all of it does.

  15. Bindu Thomas says:

    This is really a great post and thanks for sharing your thought. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. It’s okay to have a second chance.

  16. I am still pro 1st marriage. It is so sacred and full of sacrifices. But a couple as long they love each other will work things out whatever it takes.

  17. Tadpoles And Mud Puddles says:

    Marriage is hard. Things don’t always work out. You shouldn’t have to give up on marriage or love in general if it doesn’t work out the first time. I know a few people who are much happier on marriage number 2 then they ever were the first time around.

  18. tishaedor says:

    “Any marriage, be it first or second, all it requires is real love.

    Well said, a marriage without love is a sad situation. Love grows bigger or smaller, it must be tended to and nurtured to grow in the positive direction.

  19. Great write up. It truly does take a lot of love, sacrifice, commitment, endurance, and gratefulness. But the list could go on 😉

  20. Marriage is something I’m looking forward too however it’s not to be taken lightly…which is what a lot of people do lately.

  21. bmcharnley says:

    We don’t have an anniversary coming up but always could use gift ideas for significant others for sure!!

  22. Correct. There can be a stigma, depending on cultures. In our country, many people have remarried and are happily living with their second families, but there are so many issues. Plus tongues are wagging. Sometimes, when we watch western films where relationships and marriages are changed like spring cleaning, I wonder how easy it is for them,

      1. The first thing I thought about when I first read the title is second chances and divorce. Thanks for writing this post. I think it’s worth it to live your best life because nobody is perfect. I love reading about others thoughts and experiences because that’s how we learn.

  23. this1mommytries says:

    I have no problems with 2nd marriages especially since I am a product of a 2nd marriage. What fun gift ideas.

  24. ramilhinolan says:

    I am on my first marriage and this should be the last. Filipinos, especially the Roman Catholics are not in favor of 2nd or 3rd marriage. This is still a social stigma and we need to educate people to be more understanding about couples who have multiple marriages

  25. Honestly it might be difficult to go over all the process again with another person, but if there is real love, I don’t think anything is wrong is re-marrying to someone else!

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