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Victim Support Guide

VICTIM SUPPORT GUIDE.png

We often hear news about women being molested, raped or sexually abused. It is something we as a person, have got used to. We may feel bad about it for a few mins but we tend to move on with our routine life and forget about it. But what happens when a close friend, a relative or your siblings go through it. Are we really prepared to handle such a situation? Do we really know how to react to someone who confides in us something horrible that they have gone through? Honestly, most of us don’t know. It takes courage and a lot of thought for the victim to open up to someone first. How that person(or we) react to the victim is hence very important. When a female gets physically abused or molested and therefore, is mentally disturbed, she needs someone to listen to her. We often notice on a daily routine life, women go through lots of issues relating to physical abuses. It can be while traveling or at an office place or at a college or any random place and sometimes at home. But such cases are usually ignored and women happen to move on without sharing it with anyone with the fear of being blamed. For instance, a woman at the office is physically abused by her close colleague and she may not have any proof to tell others. A colleague might be a good friend or trusted person so the victim will already be in another thought of being betrayed. She may look out for someone to listen to her incidence and understand her. At this scenario, the victim is already in a mental stress and needs someone to be there for her. Unfortunately, in such cases, even logical people will blame the victim by telling her it is her mistake of being so close friends’ with a colleague.Basically, people often compare such scenes with rape and don’t take it as seriously as raped ones.Remember no victim forces herself for something bad to happen. These incidences have a very negative impact on the victims. Women are also blamed for being over friendly, not dressing appropriately and what not.

The do’s and don’ts  to be followed to help or support the victim:

  • The foremost important thing is- do not blame the victim in any circumstances.
  • Listen to the whole story patiently. (Listen only when the person is ready to share it.) Do not force an individual to describe everything at once. Give them time.
  • Do not comment on her provocative attire.
  • Help her follow up any physical or mental checkup needs.
  • Keep telling victim you are there with her and she should not be scared of anyone.
  • Try to find out the attacker and lodge a complaint.
  • Make sure you help her out to get justice. If ever she decides to give up the process of law, motivate her to continue the process to win the case. If she does not want to proceed further, don’t force her.
  • Whether or not the victim  gets the justice, give her mental therapy every day until she manages to live by herself.
  • Do not gossip about the incidence to others unless the victim is comfortable with it.
  • Furthermore, if you see the victim has moved on, then do not remind them of the past life again and again. As no one forgets the past life, but it is more depressing when the topic is been brought up often leading to get hurt .
  • Some women may make life changes due to the incidence, support her.
  • If the victim is comfortable, help her by setting up or join a support group for her to recover.
LET'S SUPPORT TOGETHER SHARE THE GUIDE TO HELP SOMEONE IN NEED. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE ARE WITH YOU..png

Note: 
You need to follow these rules for any victim irrespective of gender. 

 

 

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Short Tales

She did everything for them.She could not live for herself. They said,you are responsible for your own life
She did everything for them. She could not live for herself. They said,”You are responsible for your own life”
Finally, after marriage, he expressed his love to her. She lived unmarried.
Aur kuch nahi means either there is lot to tell or you are boring
Age does not matter. You can have fun anytime. The old lady regrets for not having fun in her twenties
Behavior is vital in a relationship. The rest does not matter. She was rejected because of her size.
All colors are beautiful. Black and white photos are classy. Irony, this thought did not apply for skin color.
The old business man tried to remember the best moments with his family  & friends. He found bulk of financial accounting registers and meeting schedule diaries.
Good morning. 
How are you?
Miss you.
Good night.
Hidden feelings made this simple conversation daily.
Spend time with people who really matter. He regrets today for not proposing her.
A child loved drawing birds and butterflies all the time. He wanted freedom from his parent's daily fights.
Potion or a complete poison. He got a day to spend with her and a lifelong to think about her.
Both were independent people. One could cook & do self-work , but did not have a job life. The other one could earn well but neither cooked nor did any self -work.

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Qualms of Patsy

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Letter to my daughter who smokes!!!

Letter to my daughter who smokes!!!

My angel,


I will not sit with you and give you a lecture. I am sure you may not hear half of my words. You will avoid my discussion about smoking. I am not complaining to you to stop smoking. I will never ask you to do that. It is your life, your rules.Do whatever you want! Live the way you love to be.
People say smoking is injurious to health. I don’t believe it. Because smoking is just one thing. There are lots of other reasons to count on which affects health. It is believed that smokers die early. I don’t believe that either. As I have seen non-smokers die early too. We often watch some smoking scenes in movies/series, wherein the character who smokes has actually got some strong attitude. We also see small blur statement in the corners, “Cigarette smoking is injurious to health”. Who cares about that statement right? Look at the attitude in the scene; we are already inspired by the scene that smoking gives the appearance of some kick-ass attitude. We even notice some writers saying what keeps them awake is coffee and a pack of cigarettes which refreshes their mind to come up with stories to be written on.

I met a girl today. She is 15 and already smoking a pack per day. She told me that she is looking forward to having a singing career. Anyone of us could predict she may not achieve her dream. Because smoking affects voice quality. It gives you a nasty voice. Someone told her that few singers do smoke. But that someone agreed to our discussion that people use machines to give good quality for the recorded voice. You know you can be popular with machine quality voice, but recording a natural voice song is much blessing. They say it is difficult to give birth to a child when a couple or one of them smokes a lot. I don’t believe it completely. Although most couples go through the same situation, I have seen some people have well-born children.

 


Honey, you are in your late teens and underdeveloped society or some friends around you may call you as a bad girl. Every time you smoke, all of them might give you a hatred look. You may have friends to hang out and all of you are probably enjoying having weeds together. It’s all fun until you cross the limit. I am not stopping you from smoking my sweetheart. There is something more to smoking and drinking.


Death is not the scariest thing. The worst thing is to lose your mind and self -respect. Smoking leads to losing a good memory and patience at the earliest for many people. It plays with your emotions. It is possible for some smart people to lose their common sense too.  They may talk a lot about the things that do not make sense. They lose interest in jobs or life and are always under stress. They can not find happiness apart from drinks & puff. You may think that you love your boyfriend a lot today and you will not love a pack of cigars more than him. I can bet you, dear, that yes, smoking is an addiction. Once you get trapped in addiction, no love is greater than smoking for the majority of smokers. You will start looking for money every time to buy more packs and drinks. Travelling is the most fun for lots of people out there. But for smokers, they will be happy; if you just give them a pack. But they will not be happy if kept away from smoking. The mind gets used to it. It never gives you peace of mind. And one fine day you are lost, totally lost and no one can help you out. I wrote this earlier, ‘It plays with your emotions.’. It will affect your temper badly. You do see warning everywhere and some pictures of how physically it affects the body. When your friends grow up and you all get separated ,you may not find the same kind of people again. If you ever get affected physically then do not feel shy to go in public or suffer the physical pain because despite warnings  you have chosen to live like this. When you cross the limit of smoking  ,stress and anger will be your only 2 best friends forever. Smokers and non smokers can have same type of diseases. But,prolong smoking can change the person’s mental peace in the long term. I don’t want to put you in a cage and impose my principles to  you.You are set free to choose a better life or astray.  Rest I will be always there for you but I can not assure of your mind status.Society might call me as a bad parent for not restricting you from smoking. The choice is all yours 🙂 to live a better life or not . 


#Fictional Letter
Note: This is a fiction letter written on the basis of the people who lost their good life, smartness, and people because of a smoking habit. Smoking is not good for all the genders. The polluted air of smoking affects children, old age people and low immune people at a fast pace. If you don’t want to save your life, please save other innocents 🙂 Here, the letter was specifically written for the daughter.


 

 

smoke

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https://thepsychologicalworld.com/5-myths-of-psychological-facts/

https://varietyartworld.wordpress.com/

Find a reason to live

thepsychologicalworld

“Find a reason to live.
When you don’t have any reason to live,
don’t use the same reason for death.”

Depressions, trauma events, unfortunate life, and a life with no purpose are the reason that force people to choose suicide or hurt themselves in some way. When you are at your wit’s end , just take a break for a while.

We need to accept the fact that life will never stop teaching us a lesson. It is always a process of learning the life itself or any specific subject. I won’t deny the truth that sometimes life bites us so hardly that no positive quotes or vibes work out. I am not going to write in this post, what are the things you can do to overcome depression. I  have already written about this in other articles on the same site. I can completely understand going through suicidal thoughts is not easy. It does not mean you are a weak person. All I want to say is “You have my empathy.”  By being the part of the life’s rich pageant, you are already a winner.


Remember, you guys are strong and maybe most of you hold the life journeys that no one knows about. No one can walk on your path as bravely as you did. I know there is this void feeling and no room for happiness. Many of you may chase for happiness but may not find it easily. If we could come so far with our super powers then let’s not end it in a bitter way.

Let’s endure the challenging paths for us.

I have helped many people going through suicidal thought and attempt , which has made me write this short post.

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The Dark Tunnel

The Dark Tunnel

What if one day I get up and find out there is nothing to do at all?

It won’t be a day wherein I could feel happy to say, “Yeah! Nothing to do. I am free today.”

It’s a day with bleak weather- I happen to realize there is nothing else remaining for me to do.
Everything has ended. I have lost so many things. I have tried countless things. I could look back to my past clearly. The path from the past to the present has made me conclude that my life is all messy. The impenetrable darkness has gone inside my soul and there is no space left for any positive signs. I have turned into a cold-hearted person. I have no feelings for anyone. I reached that level of life, wherein I can’t let anyone else be a part of my world. I feel the world has drained from me. The evil thoughts have arisen in my mind. I can only regret the mistakes, not done by me, but done by others which led me to suffer. I could have blamed everyone around me, by now I chose not to blame anyone. Because for now, I am in a state of blaming myself for always compromising my own life. For the number of times, all my dreams shattered with no hopes further. Abided by all the surrounding rules, I could not achieve anything. Being crumpled with a stroke of bad luck, I could not get any answers for, “Why me ???”.


I often restored my hopes to start a new beginning, but my every journey landed up to “The End” board with no success. Having failed for hundreds of times, I did not feel bad for rejections and failures anymore. I don’t know what is the feeling of happiness for being successful in life. Maybe, if ever I reach a successful point, I would shed more tears by recalling the failure times. I would be more nervous and hold fear to cherish the success moment. Doubtless, I am tired and downtrodden. I could imagine brighter days on the way. Alas! With not much of a span, I find myself being involved with innumerable issues. 
Whenever someone asked me, “What’s wrong?”; I could fake smile and tell them nothing. At most, I could share one of the smallest ordinary issues. The truth holds as nothing was/is right.  I could only wish some magic to fix everything at once for all. My life did not go the way I planned in multiple ways, but at this stage I am fine. At a certain point in time, we accept that some things cannot be changed and often are out of one’s control. People who know my journey tide with hurdles; know somewhere it is okay if I stop going ahead. It is true: negativity must not become part of life, but sometimes on a practical basis: negativity wins over positivity. We have to balance the positive and negative vibes equally.

 

 

I wish I would wake up one day and realize my whole life had been a dream and I am actually a different person living a different life. Perhaps, a much better life wherein I could be me, myself !!!

I wrote this blog post to express what I felt at that moment. I was not in a depression. My feelings were based on real situations. Through this article, many people could relate to it. This post is to show how a depressed person feels. It depicts how crushed a person feels when everything goes against her/his life. We see people who lack empathy. People who do not take other’s emotions easily. People who are unable to understand someone’s emotion. We do come across the ones who will not realize what willpower it takes for going through the hurdles. I genuinely feel we should not break anyone to the extent that they lose the meaning to their life. When we see someone’s life is falling apart, we shall try to lend a hand to uplift them in order to kick start life again.


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Utopia
Find a reason to live

 

 

Like-Minded Success

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Photo @rawpexel Edit Shubh

I had been always looking for someone with a like-minded person. Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven’t met anyone yet who would be of a type when I will say, “This is it”. 

One thing I learned, we can be different from our circle. Most of the time, we look for someone from the surrounding circle. But, the real need lies in the other corner of the world. We have to search in the right direction for what we need. It’s only then, we find what we want. It’s the right place for us to showcase our skills wherein it will receive the real value. It will help us improve ourselves, or say sharpen our skills.

We may expect own people to be there for us in some or other way. Very few are able to get their expected support in the way they want. Don’t be forlorn. Take a break and think again. Yes, we reach the stages that leave us high and dry. Even though you feel it is the end from all squares, then draw some other shape to your life. 

It is only possible to achieve something in a group when equal efforts are invested. It should not be only the leader’s dream. It can’t be just someone’s dream. It’s a dream which does not let anyone sleep. It pushes you hard to work, work and work. There are wide bursting ideas around your mind. You can’t think of something else other than the thing you want to make it happen. You struggle and just take every risk that brings you closer to the goal you see.

Once you embark, you can’t think of dropping it off in any circumstances. You hone different skills and polish it until it holds the pure originality that no one else can ever re-create it.

There are hurdles which make you doubt your decisions to proceed, but not all days can be good. We have to take in the bad days and keep going on our journey. When we set a goal, we can’t just sit and watch something to happen. We can’t just do very little work and believe it will happen. It’s a responsibility, rather a common sense to get down to the nitty-gritty of the present plans and future expected achievements. You should know that you need to be always prepared to take up the helm.

There comes a time, you feel like, ‘ Okay, everything is hunky-dory.’, but you don’t know what’s gonna happen next! Probably, you land up in an unexpected mess. Going through such a hotchpotch event gives you the experience and that’s how you make peace with yourself and the work you do. No matter what goes wrong or right, you will have the confidence that you will make it through with the right proficiency. Yes, you will!

 

 

 

The manifesting moment, when you take a circular leap or just one flip leap into the deep sea, you will love drowning into the art of your favorite work and swimming through every lap to reach a phenomenal destined island. That’s how you will know, you have created your own successful world.

To wrap up my thoughts, I have jotted down below some of the internet searched quotes/images and some written by me. All the best for your journey 🙂

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swamisivananda1
The-Difference-Between-Winners-and-Losers
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what-you-do-today

 

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Stop Bullying !

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Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels.

 

Bullying has taken away many lives and the ones who survive live with it’s memories daily. Whether bullying happens in childhood or adulthood, it’s hard to wash away such memories.


A person can move on and live a normal life but the past images & bullied words keep popping in mind at any time. The subconscious stores this unwanted memory affecting the person’s mental health. It is not easy to live with this trauma. We have mental health centers which will help us to wipe off these unwanted memories. We can notice an awareness program are being set up in many countries. Even though we have help centers, life does not get easy for everyone. We need to Stop Bullying as a first step to end this cruelty. 

Whether it is for a child, adult, or animals, bullying should be prohibited everywhere and for everyone in the world. Bullying is not only experienced by the weaker ones, even stronger ones face it. Imperfection does not invite bullies to one. It does not matter how Good Or Strong Or Perfect You Are, there is someone jealous at you which makes them bring you down.


Some of the research studies result depicts,  people who bully others are actually going through or seeing bad things at home or other surrounding places. The truth is whatever the reason might be, people need to observe such bulliers/bullies and teach them the right lessons on the right time. We can teach them lessons in a polite manner. We need to be politer at first conversation, because these bulliers/bullies have the behavior of going against you. 

According to psychology, the one who bullies is already exposed to these type of acts. They learn these things from the family or other group of friends. Sometimes the bad attitude can change them into this evil personality. For this reason, parents and care-takers need to track the attitude of children. Parents should avoid fighting in front of kids. A dominating parent will have wrong impressions on the kid’s mental development. The victim and the bullier/bullies both require mental health assistance. 

Basically, there are four categories of Bullying :

  • Verbal Bullying

verbalbully
Source: Google Images


This involves making fun of a person name or calling the person with different disrespect words. Threatening, nasty or hurtful comments, racial slurs and rude remarks passed on the person. To other people, Verbal bullying may sound easy to forget by the victim but it is not. It impacts on victim’s life. An individual begins believing that he/she is worthless. They lose the self-confidence which affects their student and career life. Some sensitive students will live in the fear throughout life. There is a probability to develop anxiety at an early age. 

  • Social Bullying

emo bul.jpg
Source: Google Images


Spreading rumors or gossiping are one of the worse things that happen at student life. This can happen with anyone at any age in any surrounding. The behavior of leaving a person out during the group fun time or ignoring often can affect person’s emotions. When the person’s reputation is diminished, it is difficult to come out of home everyday. There is a fear that everyone will continue to look at an individual in a negative response. It is possible for this person to lose friends , when the friends believe the rumors. The person can feel badly betrayed, when he/she finds out that friends are involved in gossiping about him/her. Usually, most of the teenagers and college students fall under this category. It can harm the emotional balance of the victim in a way that some victims choose to suicide.

  • Physical Bullying

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Source: Google Images

Slapping, Punching, Hitting, Kicking, Pulling hairs and hurting brutally. Such actions can have scars and injuries. Facing injuries and unwanted physical hurt frequently, changes the person. He/She will be scared to go back to the place. They will be living in the physical pain. The fear and the pain, together affects the mental health. While many in this category plan to give up on their life, there are some who may not give up on life. Survivors will not give up on life but will live with the traumas memories every day. 

 

  • Cyber Bullying

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Photo by FotoReith Pexels


When an individual receives nasty messages and disgusting emails, he/she is disturbed. When they notice their photos are being misused and edited in an inappropriate manner, they lose self esteem. When the private messages are made public by someone else, they lose self respect. Overall, when the person gets bullies through Internet networks, he/she will hate him/herself. In today’s era, when the whole world is dependent on social network site, any kind of inappropriate misuse can affect the person’s emotional status for years or forever. 

Victims can go through one or more types of above-mentioned bullies. It is the duty of parents, teachers, and people around the kids to observe if they are suffering from mental stress. Parents should try to have conversation with kids frequently to know if their child is facing any kind of bullying act. Most kids don’t want to hurt their parents with their problems. Hiding it, can lead to different issues. Families and friends of adults should also look after the adult victim.  On the other hand, it is the duty of everyone not to fight or abuse in front of kids as this is how kids learn to harm other kids and they grow up with these qualities. 

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Did you ever experience Bullying? What kind of bullying you faced? Feel free to share your story in brief in the comment box. You can share any tips related to overcoming Bullying in the comment box. 


Thank you for reading. 

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In Search Of Justice !

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I gathered all my hopes up,
I became the strongest person again.
I decided not to give up.
I demurred,
I was searching for justice.
I had the right requirements to qualify
but, I was rejected.
Bribe made things easier for someone.
Fake proofs were termed real.
Maybe Deplorable.
Silly me, I was searching for justice.

I had all the proofs,
I had supportive people,
I was on the right path,
but I was searching for justice.

Many lawyers were murdered,
murder cases turned as absurd suicides,
alibis vanished,
but, I was searching for justice.

Bold journalists were shot,
proofs were buried,
the story was remade abruptly,
but, I was searching for justice.

Nations hosted meetings,
Dealing were done,
Innocent armies
sacrificed their life.
Why not seek justice?

Rape victims were banished,
Rapists were absolved  & worshipped,
matter of life & death,
matter of having fun,
but, I was searching for justice.

Poor got poorer paying the pennies,
Rich got richer by exempting from taxes.
Charity was the way to exemptions and needers.
Politics played the best game.
Looting became a fantasy.
I was searching for justice.

The actual prisoners get the luxury life,
The innocent prisoners die in hell.
How can I not search for justice.?

Culprit was given VIP protection,
Witness was attacked multiple times,
Yes ! I am in search of justice.

The battle of fair and unfair,
The battle of theist  & atheist,
The quarrels in mind,
Yet , I was searching for justice.

The wars are plotted.
The innocents are slaughtered.
The criminals are winning.
The helpers are crawling.
I could not acclimate,
Hence, I am searching for justice.

Deceivers framed themselves
as God/Goddess/Gurus.
Received unlimited blind followers.
Innocents were calumniated,
Hope there is justice out there.

Astrologers beating scientists,
Solution to all problems!
No one saw future,
But, astrologers earned the future
emptying coward’s pockets.
I am searching for Justice in every inch.

Battles for water resources,
Battles for food supplies,
Battles for land rights,
Unforgotten we are all same humans,
Our roots are the same.
Ergo, who has found real justice?

Good people will give rise
to more good people.
Bad people will end
at one time of era.
It’s not the fable,
It’s the reality,
Into  the abyss,
I can’t stop searching for justice.

Alas ! I am not looking for someone
with the name Justice.

 

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Mother’s Day

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Flower’s pic by Antony (Pexel) Edit by Shubh

On this Mother’s Day, I planned to highlight the swearing.

It’s weird, why people use a woman for abusing others? Why do we use the profanity words which contains “mother” and “sister” words? We hear no one using “father” or “brother” word.
The more annoying thing is when someone is protecting a girl from other men, they use the same “motherfucker, sister fucker ” language. Few men may not use this. But most of the men do this while protecting a girl. It’s good you are protecting her from bad people but are you respecting other women by using such language?

On the first place, using an abusive word shall not be entertained.  Secondly, if you use it to let your anger out, then it is better to abuse someone directly.  Mentioning mother and sister does not make sense. Some people believe using mothers and sisters while arguing will hurt the opposition emotionally. Almost in all languages same thing is being carried out. I haven’t come across any language yet which does not use these words. I will be happy to know if there is any language which does not include such words.

We celebrate Women’s day. We celebrate Mothers’ day. But, why can’t one stop using invective words/slangs?

In my opinion,  we should neither use female nor male slangs for showing our anger or frustration. It is better to not bring up family relations or friends in between any argument.

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