A Tortured Life

This heavy weight title immerses one into a wide range of imaginations and experiences. An unendurable pain, that one waits to be freed for a long time.

Is the experience of torture counted based on the amount of time one goes through it?
A torture can vary from few minutes to a lifelong depending on the experiences.
Why being tortured is the worst thing that can happen to anyone?
Once the person is free from torture, can they live a better life again?
How is the post – torture life?
In what manner , the two words : Torture and Trauma are inter-related?
Any kind of tortured life occurs between two persons or between a person and a surrounding environment. Most of the times, it is observable that the person who tortures someone is enjoying the moment of seeing that person in a trouble. Torture is a form of abuse. On another hand, some people without moral ethics or the ones without good mentality tend to torture others unknowingly. The chances of a victim escaping are less from the people who do not accept their heart-breaking actions. Apart from these contexts, there is another set of people who can easily feel tortured by anyone. Sensitive people can misunderstand other’s actions without logic. It is possible for them to feel tortured in their life for the things that may not even run in other people’s mind.

A trauma affects the people after particular events. Whereas a torture can be one time or a recurring action experienced by the victim. Depending on the level of tortures and its effects on the person, the life changes. Some people may begin to love a new life after taking certain treatments. One may move to another place and restart life. It is not possible for many people to live a life normally again. A consistent tortured life affects the person mentally and physically. Even a stronger person can slowly change into a weak person. Over a period of time, it won’t be possible for the brain to have a control over emotions despite of having a stronger personality.

The common symptoms that a victim goes through are:
(Note : The symptoms may vary depending on the person)

1]Heart- beat pounds

2] Headaches

3] Unreasonable anxiety

4] Unreasonable fear

5] Triggers to phobias

6] Slight sound hallucinations

7] 24/7 Alert mind

8] Depression

9] Hormonal Imbalance

10] PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

11] Often Stressed

12] Nightmares

13] Sleep disturbances

14] A reduced memory grasping

15] Social withdrawal

16] Unstable Blood Pressure

The victim will lose an interacting skill. Few lose their confidence to speak with others. Some feel numb. While some victims lose interest to interact with anyone. They feel hopeless and hence, may fail to enjoy the good times. This makes them avoid social mingling. Sometimes, the person may like to meet others. But, during the meetings, anxiety can have the chances of turning in.

After moving to another place away from the tortures, the life cannot be all easy. It takes time to adjust to the new beginnings. The person feels depressed and anxious. The emotions will have confusions. Even if the place is a favorite and free from troubles, the past moments flashes in the mind. A victim can often hear the same sounds of the tormentors, especially ,if the tormentor is /are family member/s. Sometimes the tormentors are extremely dependent on the victim. Because of a prolonged dependency, even if the victim looks out for an independent life, in post traumatic period, the life seems to be unbalanced. Loneliness is the only best friend. The victim feels isolated in daily life. The things that made one happier before will no longer feel the same. Although at times, it is possible for the victim to be immensely happy for the little things.

Hearing any loud sound can make the heart pound. Since, the subconscious mind has stored enough of unpleasant memories, the person will have sleeping disorders. It is a sign of alert mind 24/7 . A psychological stress affects the health in a severe way. An exhausting mind stress develops hormonal imbalance and gut dysfunctions. This leads to a multiple chronic physical illness. Even if the person has the capability to live an independent life, a psychological effects develops unreasonable fears in the person’s mind. The subconscious absorbs the past events and shows the effects on emotions and physical health often. For this reason, an unpredictable sick times usually go un-diagnosed.

Medications can help the victim to stable the pressure levels, control the heart beats, reduce the anxiety, balance the hormones and thereby help with the physical sickness.

How can one help such victims?

Help to live separately from the tormentor.
Do not turn an blind eye to their sufferings.
LCH= Listen to their struggles, show Care but not sympathy and Help them to live a better life

As a victim, how can you help yourself?

Change your life routine.
Try to learn something new.
Keep yourself busy but don’t get stressed.
Find and follow/apply the methods to de-stress regularly.
No matter how low you feel, never miss a proper diet.
Ask for help, you may receive help from some corner
In severe cases, take medicines for mental health prescribed only by psychiatrist.

Believe yourself that the change is possible. Consider the past life as a different life chapter. Even though the past leaves effects in the present. Change is the only persistent . The more you think about changing your life and work towards it, things will eventually get better for you.

What does anxiety and panic attack feels like?

Positivity

Cycle Of Alcoholism

Nothing new in talking about addiction to drinks. We keep talking, reading, and listening to how to overcome the addiction. How do people get addicted to this habit? Do they have a choice to discontinue? What is the Cycle Of Alcoholism?

Any type of Addiction is a habit developed by anyone and anytime. A person having no problems in life can also be seen habituated towards alcoholism. Drinking is part of the celebration and also depression.

We watch love stories movies that show a character gets addicted to alcohol because of heartbreak. One need not have any tragic life stories reason to develop this habit. The common reason can be the way an individual was brought up by the family and friends. The way a person easily gets influenced by the circle of friends/colleagues who drink. People who get influenced by watching movies/series wherein the character/actor drinks to show the high-class attitude or drinks during the crisis period.

If a regular drinker gets affected by depression, then the person eventually starts depending on alcohol. It is common for regular drinkers to use alcohol, in order to, take out the frustration and anger. We hang around with friends and share our stories. We take drinks to overcome our sadness. Yes, drink can cheer you up for the moment. Some of you may go through the drink effects after hours. Once the hangover vanishes, things can come back to routine. Drinking occasionally without being mentally affected or emotionally affected reasons is all right. When you drink every day for a week then stop it, thereby, your self-realization does not make it as a norm. It means you know how to manage things. But, you have to be careful enough to not have an excess during the rough times of life. For this reason, it is advisable to drink once, drink twice but don’t drink third time. Because this will hit your emotions. There is a possibility that you will burst your emotions into tears. You will feel helpless. Sometimes it can strike your anger. You will have no control over your anger. In the absence of anger control, you may harm your loved ones or strangers. You will end up throwing up stuff around you, here and there. Breaking pieces of stuff or hitting others will not solve your issues. It causes you to pay the bills to repair your non-living things. This unmanageable behavior/reaction will take you away from your loved ones which cannot be fixed with money. You may not know what words you use against your loved ones. You will not realize how much you may beat/hurt your family or friends. Sometimes, your unethical behavior can affect strangers too and it may land you up in jail. In the absence of mind, you create damages leading to an imbalanced life.

In order to balance our life, we need to avoid drinking more than twice in a week. Once a person gets addicted, he/she will spend all the money on purchasing drinks. When their mind is completely addicted to it, they will lose the focus on work. There are cases, wherein people have lost their jobs because of this practice. Whether they lose the job or not, they develop a tendency to borrow money from others. All that money is spent into getting drinks for their satisfaction. Even the strongest person will become weak. There is a fear of not falling short of supply of drinks. There is a big smile: once the filled bottle is in hand, and there is the saddest face: once all the bottles are over. The addiction does not stop on drinks. Slowly one develops smoking and taking drugs. Altogether, once a normal person, later can also get shattered. The mind will not have a good quality of thinking ability. Such people do not like anyone restricting their habit. They will start hating the ones who do not support their addiction. Since they do not have a healthy mind, they will not realize the care provided by others. They will have zero realization about the effects of their behavior on others.

Hey drinker: Maybe once you were a good person. But, you may not be perceived in the same way. Because this habit changes the person into a liar. You will keep finding reasons to drink. You will start lying to your beloved ones to borrow the money. You will not enjoy with non-alcoholic friends. In a prolonged time, it will affect health. In case, you have a good habit of balancing your health with other diets, your chances of suffering from health issues can be lower than others. But, effects on mind will remain the same. Meditating every day and drinking every day will not go hand in hand. Meditation is helpful in relaxing hormones and stable the mind with positive thoughts. But, if you consistently drink every day then you cannot expect any benefits from meditation.

The human body is like a plant. If you water the plants and keep it in the relative weather, it will grow in a nice formation. If you add harmful chemicals to the plants along with the water daily, it will die sooner. In a similar manner, we can add a good diet to our diet but adding alcohol to it will harm our mind first and then physical health. We cannot save plants. But, we can save ourselves as early as possible. We can detoxify our body and rejuvenate with a good lifestyle by saying goodbye to alcoholism. At most, we can learn to restrict the number of glasses per week.

Saying is easier than doing it. It is not at all possible to drop the addiction in one go for everyone. Few folks can drop this habit by taking breaks on and off. This is why, we have addiction-free centers. The addiction free helplines provide different methods to get rid of harmful habits. When your family and friends are asking you to take the treatment, then please go for it. Do not sit there and argue with them. They care for you. They want to see you in a better form.

Health and Weather also play roles.
We can drink it in winter to warm our body. Drinking in high-temperature summer locations will not be good for everyone. The health issues along with the weather will not be capable of absorbing the effects of alcoholism. Hence, we can take the precaution by checking the weather conditions and our health stability.

People who think drinking, smoking and taking drugs will solve the problems are clear- cut fools. It releases the hormones which will make you feel good for a few minutes or hour. If you consider it as a solution to relax you every day, it will show adverse effects. Remember, anything in excess is never good.

Make the right choice! In the 21st century, depression is not a rare thing. Not every patient is choosing alcohol to overcome their depression. They are changing their lifestyle and following counseling therapy. Do not make wrong choices that will miss out the best things of your life.

Suggestion:

Next time you buy bottles, buy paint bottles. You may not know how to paint so just splash the colors on the white paper. You may start developing painting skills. You may start expressing your emotions through painting. Painting is an art that will give you advantages which is better than the loss given by alcohol. Involve yourself in the hobbies or activities to calm down your anger. Keep yourself busy and healthy to stay away from addiction.

Thought for the day:

“Don’t drink and drive. Save yours and other’s life.”

Find a reason to live

“Find a reason to live.
When you don’t have any reason to live,
don’t use the same reason for death.”

Depressions, trauma events, unfortunate life, and a life with no purpose are the reason that force people to choose suicide or hurt themselves in some way. When you are at your wit’s end , just take a break for a while.

We need to accept the fact that life will never stop teaching us a lesson. It is always a process of learning the life itself or any specific subject. I won’t deny the truth that sometimes life bites us so hardly that no positive quotes or vibes work out. I am not going to write in this post, what are the things you can do to overcome depression. I have already written about this in other articles on the same site. I can completely understand going through suicidal thoughts is not easy. It does not mean you are a weak person. All I want to say is “You have my empathy.” By being the part of the life’s rich pageant, you are already a winner.

Remember, you guys are strong and maybe most of you hold the life journeys that no one knows about. No one can walk on your path as bravely as you did. I know there is this void feeling and no room for happiness. Many of you may chase for happiness but may not find it easily. If we could come so far with our super powers then let’s not end it in a bitter way.

Let’s endure the challenging paths for us.

I have helped many people going through suicidal thought and attempt , which has made me write this short post.

Utopia

What if one day I get up and find out that there is nothing to do at all. It would be a day wherein I could feel happy and say, ”Yeah! Nothing to do. I am free today.”
It’s a day-I happen to realize that there is nothing else remaining for me to do. Everything has ended. I have gained love, Success, and people. I have tried too many things. I could look back at my past and feel the present only to know that my life was all messy but everything has concluded to a better destination. All the bad days would only remain as the blurred memory and the positive rays would surround me from all the corners. I would turn into a peaceful person. Maybe I would not hold any hatred feelings for anyone. I would have reached that level of my life, wherein I would be happy with everyone around me. The world would seem to be filled with beautiful minds. There won’t be any place for regret, sufferings, blames in my mind. I could have blamed everyone around me, by now I chose not to blame anyone. There won’t be any compromise in further life. No more troubles coming closer in any form.

I wish I would wake up one day and realize my whole life had been a dream and I am actually a different person living a different life. Perhaps a much better life wherein I could be me, myself!!!

As we go through the hustle and bustles of our life, we don’t have to wait for the right time of nirvana feeling. Each day we can try to take little steps by avoiding the stings of negativity and proceeding with the ingredients of positivity.

11 Ways To Control Your Anger 😠

There are days when we feel annoyed with someone or something and there are lots of shuffled reasons leading to anger in our mind. We need to control our anger but it is difficult to do it.

The simplest thing to do is breathe in – breathe out. Sometimes we have to control anger to avoid creating a huge issue. Sometime we need to delay the reaction for the right time. It’s true anger is an important part of emotions and must be expressed. Consistently holding your anger for a longer time inside mind can lead to emotional imbalance.

The habit of having control over anger can help us to calm down and take the right decisions. We can find many institutes and health-care management providing anger control therapy. While yoga can help us to have a balance over emotions, there are other simple ways to change the mood. Whenever we are in the angry mood, we can try any of these 11 things :

1]Involve yourself in house chores.

Doing any single work can divert your mind.

When we are trying to perform any house related work, we can keep our mind focused in cleaning things or keeping things neat. While performing these type of tasks, brain slows the anger amount. Everyone may not like doing house chores. Everyone may not be fit enough to carry out these type of work. But, all those people who are capable of doing it can adapt this technique to simmer down.

2]Pick up one of your hobbies and do it for a while, this can make you happy as well.

Painting, crafting, playing instruments, and designing work diverts the thoughts to the creative form. You will feel better by expressing anger through the paint or music. Reading book or writing books takes the mind to the imagination world. This in turn, helps the senses to shift away from anger.

3]At the office, do any other work or learn something.

We may not have all the privileges of controlling our anger at office. So, the best thing is to learn something new. It can even be the smallest things. Keeping mind busy in learning something new diverts mind from anger. You can continue to do the same given work or change the task for a while. It is one of the ways, to let the anger slip on downhill.

4]Play some outdoor sports.

This can bring enthusiasm. Playing outdoor games with other players levels up the energy. You can put the anger into the game to win it. For some people anger can work as negative effect to focus on game whilst for others anger itself can help to focus hard on the game. Whether you win or not, spending time playing sports assists in healthier mental health.

5]Play indoor or online game.

Playing indoor games with friends, families or at other gaming centers helps the person to enjoy those little moments. Online games can also help the person rather than rushing the negative thoughts in mind. It is as good as engaging yourself in some activity to relieve your mind.

6]Speak with some family member or friends.

Talking about the issue that made you angry on the first place, can help to relax the mind. Discussions related to different things in the conversation adds to mellow down.

7]Cook your favorite food.

Cooking is one of the skills needs to be acquired to live independently. Some people love eating food , the colloquial term as foodie. You can buy your favorite food from outside but cooking it by yourself gives satisfaction to mind. When your mind and tummy is satisfied, anger will either have less space or no space to stay.

8]Listen to the music.

Listening to your favorite music takes you to the imagination world. You fly to the other side of your expected world. This aids in soothing your heart and hence, your mind.

9]Dance on your favorite music.

Dancing changes the mood to happiness. You don’t have to be a trained dancer. You can just do any jolly steps by yourself. You can watch song videos or dance videos and perform it simultaneously. It will act as an exercise and keep you happy. When the happy emotion takes over the room, anger vanishes.

10] Watch shows/videos/ series

You can watch any entertainment or your favorite genre shows/videos/series. This helps in your mind in watching and reacting to those shows. Your anger will eventually slide to low scale.

11] Go For Walk

Last but not the least, Go For Walk. Walking not only keeps you healthy physically, it also boosts your mental strength. You can either go for jogging or have simple walk. Your mind will get diverted to outside atmosphere. You will feel refreshed.

I will wrap up the 11 simple tips of anger management here.
What you do to reduce your anger? Share your tips in the comment box.
Have a good day 🙂

Being Delusionist !!!

“Delusion the way to live the positive life .”

Literally speaking , “A delusion is a belief that is held with a strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary. “
Delusion is a mental disorder. Often it involves hallucinations, negativity or rather false belief. Today, we will use this form in other way.

Sometimes you can try to look at your life with the delusion perception. When constantly for years, life goes through unpleasant times, emotions lose their expressions. We come across a set of circumstances wherein the result is predictable. There are days, whether or not we involve in a problem, in any way, it’s gonna be worse. The absurd sitches are the overwhelming for the person. Whenever the unbearable arguments happen or the constant vicious negative life goes on, I choose to be a delusionist. Aye!!! I chose it in a positive way. There is no point in getting agitated when same things gonna repeat often. When there are unresolvable issues , sometimes I direct them as simply hallucinations to avoid it. It is just one of the ways to avoid negativity. So that, mind is balanced with positive thoughts. It is okay! It is ok if you cannot handle something. Yes, we have to take all the responsibilities. But, not everything is under our control.

This process is a trick to keep your mind calm and restrain it from being affected by negative people.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through a day. – Scott Adams.

Life is so much better when you decide not to care. Just live for the moment and don’t let the drama bring you down.

Get Married-solution for everything !

Marriage itself is a word that always freaks me out. I don’t know why I really never believed in the concept of “Marriage“.

My opinion about marriage is, it is a proof for the society that the couple is married or booked. If two people are in love and wanna spend their life together for the rest of their life then here comes the Marriage Certification. Even people having a living relationship find this Certification useful at some or other point. No matter what religion, caste, race you belong to, which place in the world you live in, some or other day you will find yourself taking oath/vows in the wedding aisle.

Once you reach in your 20s, you ought to find a partner or else by hook or crook someone will find a partner for you. You won’t be left with much of a choice, to marry someone.

Of course, there are folks who live single for the whole life. But do they live this life without fighting with their own family and society? Almost all the single ones had to go through the repetitive questions and comments on them.

We cannot say it’s the old generation mind. Because we have a young generation who does the same thing. I reached in my 20s(Update: Oops no more in 20s!) and almost all my friends started getting married and within a few years, almost all of them were blessed with kids too.

I don’t care what others think about me for sure, but I think the whole society is worried about me a lot. In today’s techie & independent world, it’s mandatory to have a job.
The bio-data in matrimony must show your resume which will impress the guy/girl and you will have chances to be selected for the proposal. Bingo!!!
I am post graduated qualified with additional skills and due to certain family reasons, my career life did not go well. Unfortunately, I am not working the regular 9 to 5 job. It turns out to be a negative point for the whole society. They don’t pay my bills or take care of me but a big question: Who will marry me?

Every guest that comes to my house or my relatives advise the same thing to me and my parents,” At this age, no job then get married!!”
Some of them asked me to move the USA for further studies and if I don’t move by myself then, at least, marry the guy working in the USA . To add on, single ones in the age 20s had to always come across aunties giving mantras, “Get married soon, have kids soon. The sooner the better. If you marry late then you will have problems having kids then there is no meaning for marriage. ” *sob sob*

A huge LOL!!!
This is my everyday life to avoid such old generation mind and facing society whether it is on the streets or in some family functions or someone else’s wedding, “When is your wedding?”

I kill everyone in my mind but I have to tell them: ‘ very soon maybe this year or next year.’

Do I enjoy with people of my age around me completely? At least there I have got some air to breathe on…Nahhhh!!
Considering half of my friends are married, it is difficult to hang out with them. When they hit me,” Why are you not married yet!!”
And do the other half unmarried people allow me to enjoy?
Nah Nooo
Well, I have to say I am not dating anyone and I don’t have a boyfriend.

So, here are these people who will keep on asking me why are you not even dating someone? If you can’t find any boy, then opt for arrange marriage.

Yeah seriously, Facepalm!!

Well, I did meet a bunch of people who even assumed about me as a lesbian. What? ah hun O.o

Well, what can I say ..*No words*
I am straight and it is okay if I don’t have a job and my health & career life does not go well. I don’t even understand even in this modern world, why people assume gender as a lesbian and ask it like a stigma.
I believe it is not mandatory to find some partner to fix my life problems.
Thanks to 2-3 of my married friends, who always sob,” You are lucky to be single. Never marry anyone.”

Why should one marry someone just for the sake of society, when not even ready for it? Of course, having a bf/husband is not always a problem. When you are not ready for a relationship, don’t go for it. By the way, even when you are ready to be in a relationship, don’t just settle for a random partner.

I don’t know whether I will ever get married to someone or fall in love with someone but for now; I love myself and enjoy with my friends(Update: no more friends around). I am single & definitely fine with this status. To the people out there, I don’t have to jot down the benefits of being single. You know how it is & moreover will find plenty of blogs out there showing ” Being single is the best thing ” 😛 😛

Being Single, Cheers!!!

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Category: positive life